Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Welcome to The Silvery Tay Potery Competition 2008!!!

You may now submit to your entry fee, which is any amount you like, donated to any charity you like as long as it is on the side of the forces for earthly good. An entry fee submitted to a charity for the Advancement Of Aliens Bent Upon Galactic Domination, for example, will automatically disqualify you from this competition. Once you’ve done that, come back here and submit your pome to the comments section.

Hopefully, Mr James Clarke of the Stoep Talk Organisation (which owns The Star newspaper) will be our celebrity judge again this year. Not only is Mr Clarke an expert of Pomes, he is also Venerably Fit for duty, being the heroic L*E*A*D*E*R of the Tour De Farce. He looks lovely in Lycra, too, and if you run out and buy a copy of his book Blazing Saddles you can photostat all the pics and prestik them up on your walls, as we have done here at the STPC HQ.

Rules of the Competition:

Only the worst poem will win. There will be no runners up, and no consternation prizes. You may submit more than one entry; in fact you must please do so because we want at least 20 pomes this year. The competition is not open to organisers of the competition (me), the judges (Mr Clarke) or their immediate family, unless they use a pseudonym.

The winner will receive the title, Pandora’s Poet Laureate, to keep for a year, and also a best quality photoshop-enhanced mouse-crafted jpeg certificate to keep forever. But that’s not all… as a bonus this year we have one almost-new purple pen of mysterious origin, with green glitter ink and a puff of pink troll-hair with springy googly eyes.

Hints and tips:

Crehatif spelling will not earn you any points, unless it is completely unintentional. Mr Clarke has x-ray eyes and is able to detect this sort of thing, so don’t even try too hard. Go now! Why are you still here, reading this, when you ought to be off righting you’re pomes?